Delivering Tough News

Delivering tough news is tough.
Unless you manage a team of clairvoyants, NOT delivering the news won’t solve the problem or change the situation. 

So, here’s some help. 

1. Headline the conversation.  You know what you want to talk about.  Give the other person a one line statement so they can be prepared for the discussion too.
2. Use ‘I’ vs. “You” statements.
        - Sounds like: “I’ve noticed this behavior, this outcome, this result…”
3. Choose non-judgmental words.  Words that make a listener automatically defensive include: always, never, attitude, lazy, apathetic, bad time management, and more.
4. Check your body language.  You may be saying something you didn’t mean to.
        - Arms crossed – I don’t want to be here.
        - Slumping shoulders – I’m so done with this.
5. Invite their perspective with a question and do it soon.  In role-play interactions, I’ve noticed that when people get nervous about the message, they tend to ramble and repeat the concern. Meanwhile, the recipient is getting anxious and defensive. 

Putting it all together:

"Hey Jalen, let's talk about the game. I noticed you seemed frustrated after the loss and I get it."

"I’m pleased you didn’t talk poorly about the other players, but am concerned about the impression you gave by having slumped shoulders and being barely audible when you responded to questions.  It sends a negative message about you and the team."

Make it easy to make 'em smile

Do you talk about going above and beyond for your customers?  Do you ask your team to make each client feel special?  And do you make it easy for them to do so?

I had the chance to visit Zappos and I learned that one of their secrets is to make it easy to make their customers' smile. The goal is to make a Personal Emotional Connection (PEC) with everyone who calls. Rather than your typical checklist, Zappos uses the "Happiness Experience Form" and tracks things like:

• Did the agent try twice to make a personal emotional connection (PEC)?
• Did they keep the rapport going after the customer responded to their attempt?
• Did they address unstated needs?
• Did they provide a 'wow experience'?

And if a Zapponian discovers an opportunity to make a customer's day, they use the handy dandy PEC station right beside their desks. There is a variety of thank you cards, flower, cookies, or balloon order forms, construction paper and colorful pens and a mailbox to get those personal touches out to customers right away.

Zappos knows that emotion drives people to share with others and they've simplified the process to make those connections.

How do you make it easy for your team to make your customers smile?

Get Smart

Did you ever watch the TV show, Get Smart?  The lead character, Maxwell Smart, went through a number of doors on his way into the office.  Although it wasn't the goal, having to pause, breathe, and walk gives him time to compose himself. 

How you walk into your office sets the tone for the day.  If you walk in frazzled, even due to non-work related events, the team feels frazzled.  If you walk in calmly, they feel calmer.  

Take a moment in the parking garage, the elevator, or the hallway to compose yourself and set the right tone for the day.  

In case you've never seen the show, here's a clip.

What do a polygraph, a DiSC Assessment, and Wonder Woman have in common?

They were all invented by Dr. William Marston. 

• In 1917, Dr. Marston discovered the link between blood pressure and lying which led to the creation of the prototype for the polygraph and the lasso of truth.

• In the 1930’s, he applied his studies on human behavior to help Universal Studios transition from melodramatic silent pictures to movies with audio and encouraged the need for more natural gestures and facial expression by actors.

• In the 1940’s, he introduced us to Wonder Woman.  Her heroic behaviors show strong will, power, and the use of the behavioral style dimensions of DiSC — dominance, influence, submission, and compliance — to accomplish her missions.

Many of you have enjoyed the benefits of understanding DiSC for self-awareness, teams, managing, and leading.  If you’d like to have a live or virtual DiSC session, let’s chat. 

Want to hear more about Dr. Marston, watch this CBS report. 

“Not even girls want to be girls so long as our feminine archetype lacks force, strength and power. Not wanting to be girls, they don’t want to be tender, submissive, peace-loving as good women are. Women’s strong qualities have become despised because of their weakness. The obvious remedy is to create a feminine character with all the strength of Superman plus all the allure of a good and beautiful woman.”

— Dr. William Moulton Marston

Being Your Best Self

Maslow famously wrote about what we need to become our best self; he called it becoming "self-actualized."

Here’s what employees need in order to be their best self:

Level 1:  To Be Respected – a greeting, eye contact, recognition of some sort.
Level 2:  To Learn and Grow – tap into your team’s desire to be challenged.  Give them a task that stretches them.
Level 3:  To Be An Insider – let them know what is going on in the industry, the company and their department.  It builds security.
Level 4:  To Do Meaningful Work – share the ultimate purpose of their work.  Link their work to overall company results.
Level 5:  To Be on a Winning Team – set goals for the team and reward them when they meet, or beat, those goals.
 
What level are you working on today?

It’s your meeting. Lead it!

You’ve seen the heads glancing down, texting, scrolling or smirking - you know your team is multi-tasking.  Who can blame them?  Our devices are so addictive.

When attendees are on their phones and listening, they aren’t doing either very well.

When you’re presenting and you notice them multi-tasking, you might feel offended or be defeated. Go ahead and ban devices from the meeting - but make sure to sweeten the deal by shortening its length. 

If you see the group twitching, it might be time to end the meeting, or at least take a check-in break.

Gotta go, my phone is buzzing…

Congratulations! You’re the Boss... now what?

We’re often asked how to transition from peer to boss - and it’s tough! One minute, you’re gossiping about the manager, now you’re it. Awkward!

How do you build credibility?

Here are a few strategies to put into play:

1. Meet with each of your team individually and discuss what they do, what they want from you, and how you can support them.

2. Set expectations at a team meeting. Once you’ve had your one-on-ones, come up with a plan of action and share it with the team. Tell them what you are going to do and what you expect them to do in return.

3. If you get push-back, don’t ignore it, act on it. Remind them of the meeting and the new expectations. Others will be watching to see if you are “for real.” Be real.