'Fess up

Come on admit it, there is someone on your team that drives you crazy!

It might not be the quality of their work, but rather their personality that makes them a challenge to manage.   Not to mention that once you form an opinion about them it seems everything they do supports that opinion.

What to do?

Change your mind.  Perhaps if you get to know them in a different way (over lunch or coffee, or collaborating on a project) you will understand their style or behavior better.

Change your reaction.  In our customer service training we discuss using visualization to create a funny image or thought when that challenging customer calls.  This is a healthier than reacting to the call display and assuming the worst.  When I ask for examples of what to visualize that would inspire laughter vs. cringing, participants come up with Sponge Bob, the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man (think Ghost Busters) or kittens on YouTube.   What POSITIVE visual can you think of when you see or hear your challenging team member?    

*This works because, if you are smiling when you see them you will feel better and when they see you smile (maybe for the first time?) it will make them feel better.

Change them.  Well, that’s not really possible.  But if there is a behavior that is counter productive in the workplace,  it is in both of your best interests to address it.   Focus on the behavior and the impact that behavior has on you, the team, the work or the company.